


Indomitable

by KikiYushima



Category: RWBY
Genre: Memoirs, Not Fic, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-10 01:56:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20520056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KikiYushima/pseuds/KikiYushima
Summary: How one song can inspire a person to keep moving forward.





	Indomitable

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, needless to say, this is not a fanfiction and I don't expect anybody to really read it. It's a personal piece that briefly summarises my personal journey with this series and a thank you to Monty.

Hi Monty.

My name is Kiki and we've never met. I know we never will either. I'm writing this in late2019. so you've been gone for a while now. I was vaguely aware of your passing when it happened but I didn't realise the significance of it. I'll get to that later, though; let me back up a bit to the beginning so I can properly explain what all of this is about... and so I can thank you in full. 

Back between volumes two and three, I had a night where I couldn't sleep and nothing could really hoId my attention. One of my best friends suggested I look into this webseries called RWBY. "Oh, it's not long, you can watch it all in an afternoon."

"Cool. sounds like a good time sink until I can get back to bed" was probably my thought process.

And so I watched it. It was fun and energetic with decent characters, so I became a casual fan. Of course, this was around the time you died so I was vaguely aware of it, but I didn't really understand what it meant. "Oh, that's sad. I feel bad for those that lost him." I know it might sound cold and callous, but it wasn't like I understood who you were at the time. To me, you were just a distant figure that created a series I enjoyed passively and on a casual level. There was no personal connection there, so how could I be moved?

I did pick up V3 and watched it on a week to week basis on YouTube, enjoying it as it came out. The next volume was much the same. I was excited about V5 starting especially with the new character shorts. However, it was with Weiss' that a small shift began in my relationship to the series.

That short was the first time I noticed the music. What we had of the song at the time really struck a chord with me and I began listening to it a lot. I got excited waiting for the V5 soundtrack to drop but I had to wait a while to get it.

However. listening to that song made me listen her other ones and, God, did I ever become hooked on them. Weiss' songs hit me on such a deep level that it was startling how well I related to them. The short version of my life is that I was badly bullied, my mom is a conservative Christian, and I'm LGBT and a voracious consumer and compulsive hoarder of knowledge. You can imagine the sort of relations his I have with a young-earth creationist mother, but I digress.

And, so, in March of 2018, I did my first proper text-based roleplay for the series with one of the characters: Weiss. My main partner and I had dabbled before but only with crossover characters and nothing much became of it. We struggled and tried, but it all fizzled out in the end.

This time, though...

this time, it stuck.

A simple RP to acclimate me to writing Weiss turned into a massive RP spanning ariand seventy-five thousand words on just the main RP. That doesn't count the OT5 offshoot that's at least two hundred thousand which does NOT include the aforementioned 75k.

Since then, I've done countless other RPs, one of which was started.in mid Jan 2019. It's September now and it's at least 250, 000 words... and still ongoing.

So if I've done all of that. where does my writing fic? 

It... hasn't fared so well the past year or so.

I was doing well on posting something almost every week, but then toward the end of June last year, I fractured my wrist. For Me, this was devastating since I do everything longhand. I fell deeper into my depression and have been extremely unmotivated to try to write again. It didn't help that I now have all sorts of complications from the fracture that cause me to be in agony if I use normal paper and pencil for too long. Thankfully, I do have a workaround!

However, it's been this series and its message of keep moving forward that has helped me through the past year and a half or so. Without the music and characters, I'm not sure where I'd be at the moment. The music has comforted and reassured me that feeling like this is okay and it'll get better. It took awhile to get there but...

I slowly am.

When Ruby used her silver eyes in the end of V6 and the thirty second clip of Indomitable played. I knew that song would be something special. The wait was agonising, I wanted the full song so badly. The fact it didn't drop until almost July made me pull my hair out. But when it did drop..

It was worth it.

I listened to it once and liked it.

By the third listen, I was singing to parts of it and crying. Hell, I'm crying as I write this right now at 1256 in the morning on Labor Day. By the end of the day it released, I was singing along pretty well with some wrongly transcribed lyrics.

This singular song has had such a profound impact on me that I can't begin to describe it. I've been sitting in a bunch of research for the Ashu to expand the Branwen tribe to make it cohesive and to form them into a real people. I’ve had it since late last year and haven't done much with it since I just didn't have the energy or mindset to touch it.

But this single song had enough power to kick me in the ass and start doing it. I still have a long way and a lot of books to make it through. but I'm closing in on the two-thirds mark of the research. I have a specific AU I'm working on with a lot this in mind. All I'll say right now is that the Branwen tribe has a fair amount of influence over Yang and Ruby. I'm posting this letter to A03 so I don't want to spoil the surprise!

I am so very grateful for this song and series. I'm not saying I wanted you to die for this song to have come into existence; that would be wrong on so many levels. The world is a darker place without you, but, despite that darkness, other lights have begun to shine like mine.

I won't say I'm "okay" or completely out of this lingering depressive state. My own perfectionism and fear are making it hard for me to write fic again, but I know I have to put pencil to (digital) paper again sooner rather than later. But, because of your inspiration in the song, I've started to move on a large project again. Even just reading a chapter a day is moving forward. Like the founder of my dojo says. you only fail when we give up. I have a long way to go, but I'm taking a step everyday. I hope that I'll be able to truly meet you one day and tell you how you helped me to keep moving forward even after you died.

Thank you so much,

Kiki


End file.
